Definitions
by Rachel Mantegna
Summary: Roger's sister, Riley, is stuck on the island with the boys. Girl-on-the-island fic, but one with promise - I promise. Rated T to be safe. Jack/OC? Ralph/OC? Piggy/OC? That last one was a lie.
1. Home

**A/N So here is my new story! Yet another girl-on-the-island fic, but there aren't enough that have been completed! Did you know there are 60 results when you look up 'girl' in the **_**Lord of the Flies**_** category, but there are only 7 that are completed? And two of them aren't even girl-on-the-island fics. So, when I post this, it will make 61 stories, and hopefully soon enough, 8 completed.**

**I called this story **_**Definitions **_**because at the beginning of each chapter, I am going to give a definition that relates to each chapter. Original, eh? Not really…**

**This story will be based off the book.**

**Ages are as followed:**

**Ralph 16**

**Jack 16**

**Roger 16**

**Piggy 15**

**Riley (OC) 15**

**Samneric 15**

**They're the only ones who are really important enough to have an age. So, please read and REVIEW! I would love to hear what you think. :) **

**Now (FINALLY), no more rambling, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I almost forgot! I own… (drum roll)… NOTHING! Except Riley. She's mine, in a way.**

_**Home: An environment offering security and happiness.**_

My head pounded, every inch of my body ached. My eyes were shut tightly as I tried to figure out how to move my limbs once again. I finally lifted my hand to my face. I felt my cheeks wet. I must've been crying – subconsciously, of course. My mother would never stand for tears.

_Tears are for wimps_, I heard her harsh voice whisper into my mind. Then would come the slap. Logic would indicate that pain would come after, but my brother and I had become immune to the pain. It came so often, we could barely feel it anymore. Only when it was extremely intense pain could I actually feel it.

Suddenly, my whole world came crashing down as I realized what had just happened. I had been on a plane with my brother, Roger, and a bunch of other boys. We were being evacuated because of the war, and Roger had _somehow_ gotten his hands on an extra plane ticket to the boy's plane. The authorities didn't care that I was going on their plane – there was so much commotion going on, they were just happy to get the kids out of the country.

And then, the plane was hit. With a bomb. Our plane came crashing down. Now, I didn't know where I was, who had survived. Maybe I was the only one! If I was on a deserted island alone, well, I was screwed.

I tried to collect myself. I wiped away the numb tears and rubbed my sore forearm. I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I walked through the jungle, pushing away creepers that were in my way. I saw a beach as I pushed through the trees. Then, came a loud, trumpet sound. It sounded close to me, maybe on the beach. Maybe, just maybe, that was a sign of humans!

I started to run, in the process, tripping over a vine, and definitely spraining my ankle. I pushed myself up, and limped to the beach. I saw boys. About ten of them! I limped over to where they were assembling.

"Look!" a fat kid shouted, "a girl!"

I walked passed him, going directly to the good-looking boy holding a conch shell. Maybe this fat kid had never been in arm's length of a girl. Why else would he freak out just at the sight of one?

"Shut up, Piggy. She looks hurt," the boy with the conch shell said. He jogged to me, putting his arm around my waist to support my hurt foot. I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm Ralph," he told me, grinning.

"I'm Riley," I replied, smirking a little bit as well.

Ralph led me to a log and helped me sit down without letting my foot hit the ground.

"Thanks," I whispered lightly. He smiled again. He had a beautiful smile. I was about to ask him what we were going to do – the survivors of the plane crash, when we spotted them. The choir! My brother! They were wearing black capes, their uniform, and coming towards us.

Though my brother Roger was part of the choir, I had never actually met any of the other members. After a performance, all the boys promptly left. I didn't understand why – I would've loved to meet them. Especially their lead chorister, Jack Merridew. He was tall with red hair and toned muscles. His blue eyes were so deep, they conveyed his every emotion.

They finally reached where we were sitting. Roger, standing on Jack's right flank, made a move to approach me, but something in Jack Merridew's eyes stopped him. Jack then locked eyes with me for a moment, and then turned his gaze towards Ralph.

Jack interrogated Ralph about the conch and who he was exactly. The tension between them was thick – I could see they wouldn't get along already. Jack finally ordered his choir members to sit down. Roger sat quickly beside me, giving me a half hug with one arm. He seemed to be in a decent mood even based on what had just happened. At least he was controlling his temper.

"I'm so happy you're okay. I thought you were a goner, for sure!" he whispered when Jack turned his back on us.

"I could say the same for you," I replied, speaking at the same noise level as him.

Finally something Ralph and Jack were discussing – arguing – about caught my attention.

"We need a chief, a leader. Someone who can keep everyone in order so we can get rescued," Ralph announced to the group.

"Ralph's right. And _I'm_ right to be chief. I'm leader of the choir and I can sing in C-Sharp," Jack seemed very proud of this talent. I just rolled my eyes. Being able to sing doesn't mean you're fit to be a leader.

"Well I think the boy with the shell should be leader!" one of the multiple little ones called out. I personally agreed with this, and it seemed most of the group did, too. Everyone could hear the sounds of approval flying around.

"Alright, we'll take a vote then. How many want me for chief?" Jack asked, his voice daring anyone to say no.

The hands of the choir members flew up, including the hand of my brother. When I didn't raise my hand, he stared at me in disbelief, anger in him already starting to build up as he tried to convince me to raise my hand. I wanted to, to make Roger happy, but I just couldn't. Ralph truly seemed like the better choice, so when everyone was raising their hands for him, I raised mine.

The fat kid, now known as Piggy, counted hands. He didn't need to count – it was clear that Ralph had won the election.

Jack seemed mad about this, but took a seat in a defeated sort of anger. He clenched his fists with his light blue eyes icy and glaring. I tuned out of my surroundings once again, until both Jack and Ralph started to leave the beach, with another choirboy named Simon with them. They were going to explore the island.

When they left, I looked around the beach – also known as my new home. I saw only five older kids on the beach, eight in total, when the other boys got back. There were a few more kids who were about ten or twelve, and a bunch of little kids about six years old.

I sighed. Although this island would be incredibly annoying, I couldn't help but think it may just be better than my old, abusive home. Roger nudged me, hard. Hard enough that my sore arm started to hurt again.

"What?" I hissed at him.

"Why didn't you vote for Jack?" He almost shouted at me, furious.

And here is where the first crack in our relationship since home originated.

**A/N Don't worry! I won't ramble this time! I have a bad habit of doing that. **

**So, love it? Hate it? Should I continue? Or never, ever, write another word of this story again?**

**I'm just kidding about that part. Please don't be that harsh. Just tell me you don't like it. Thanks.**

**I hope you enjoyed it! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**


	2. Big Brother

A/N So, I was pretty dumb to start a story during exams/right before summer. But, exams are done now, so I was able to write this chapter. Since summer is coming up, I'll be writing even more, but I won't have very much access to the computer, so updates will be irregular. But, hopefully that means multiple chapters posted in one day!

Here is chapter 2 of Definitions. Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate every one of them!

This chapter gets more personal with Riley and Roger's home life. I don't know how that even got incorporated into the story. Just a random stroke of inspiration, I guess.

Disclaimer: Do I look like William Golding? Well, you can't see me. But I'm not William Golding, I swear. So, I own nothing. Except Riley.

_Big Brother: An older male sibling __who __provides guidance and protection._

Ralph, Jack and Simon had returned from their excursion excited and full of adrenaline. They told our group that there was lots of fruit to eat, fresh water to drink, and pigs. Jack seemed especially happy there were pigs on the island and vowed to kill one.

Meanwhile, at our camp, we hadn't done very much. Piggy tried to learn people's names and convince them to build shelters, but they decided running around crazily, swimming and playing games was more important. I would've liked to have helped Piggy, but I was afraid Roger might get angry. And Roger can go into a frenzy of rage when he gets mad. Roger and I weren't very happy with each other because of the whole leader thing, but I could see he disliked Piggy immensely, and that was enough for me to not help him.

Ralph and Jack stood in front of our group, telling them about the island, when a little boy approached Ralph.

"Is the beast going to come back?" he asked shyly.

This caught all of the older kids off guard. What beast? All the little kids seemed to know exactly what this one boy was talking about, and even some of the ten year olds did, however, the group of older kids seemed utterly confused.

"Beast? What beast?" Ralph voiced what all the older kids were thinking.

"The snake-thing."

"There is no snake thing-"

"Ralph's right," Jack interrupted Ralph, "but if there was, we'd hunt it and kill it. Me and my choirboys are the hunters, and we could take care of any beast. But, of course, there is no beast."

The kids didn't seem convinced. I didn't think that Jack was being very convincing with his 'what if' scenarios. The kids here wouldn't understand that. But, Jack's talk did bring the subject of a possible beast to a close, and Ralph resumed his position running the assembly.

Ralph started to speak of rescue – the most important thing. Nobody questioned this – it was very clear and very known. We all wanted to go home. Maybe. Or, maybe life here could be better for me than life being beaten all the time. Even though here, survival would be an issue, I wouldn't have to endure being abused by my own mother. As long as I kept on Roger's good side, there was a good chance I wouldn't be hit once while on this island.

"We need to make a fire!" I tuned back in when Ralph made this exclamation.

Apparently, the whole group agreed, because everyone started yelling in agreement and following Jack up to the mountain. I looked around to see none other than my brother right by Jack's side. Of course.

Though I had only been on the island a few hours, and Jack wasn't even with Roger half the time, it was clear that Jack and Roger weren't exactly best friends, but Roger was a sidekick to Jack. And it didn't even seem voluntary. The way I see it, Roger thinks that Jack is his best friend. Anyone on the outside can see that Jack is really the leader, but Roger doesn't notice it. If only he did. I guess he was just used to falling into that role. At 'home', he would really be Mother's sidekick. He wouldn't exactly participate in slapping me around, but he would if Mother told him to. Sometimes there was a look in his eyes that asked for forgiveness; sometimes there was a look of longing. Longing for what? I wasn't sure, and I was afraid of the answer. Roger scares me sometimes. And other times, he can be the best big brother in the world. You just had to catch him in the right mood.

I snapped out of my mind state, and looked around, looking for a friend. No one in the choir, that was for sure. They looked like slaves to Jack. Other than the choir – or, hunters now – there was only little kids, a pair of twins, Piggy and Ralph. I looked around for Ralph, and saw him walking behind me with Piggy. Piggy was talking away, and Ralph looked like he couldn't care less. He looked to the ground, looking upset and angry. I fell back on my walking a little bit so I could walk beside him.

When he saw me, he looked up and his mood seemed to brighten a little bit. He smiled at me. I grinned, but my smile soon faltered when I saw Piggy still on the other side of Ralph, but looking mad at me for stealing the attention away from him. I wanted to tell him that Ralph wasn't paying attention to him, anyway.

I turned my sight back to Ralph. I wanted to talk to him about something, anything, but I couldn't think of how to start the conversation. I was hoping he would.

Finally he simply said, "Hi."

"Hi," I repeated through a smirk.

"Hello, Riley. Ralph and I were just discussing going home, and rescue, and shelters and fire…" Piggy continued on like this and I could see why Ralph had been so bored. Coming from anyone else, the things Piggy was saying could've been interesting, but not in his annoyingly high voice that just droned on and on. Ralph seemed to be thinking the same thing because his smile grew wider, forcing mine to grow as well.

"So…" Ralph started, trying to start a conversation, "Roger's your brother?"

"Yeah. He was the one who got me onto the plane. He wanted us to stay together. Of course, the plane crashed and now he's up there and I'm back here and…" I trailed off, realizing I didn't have a point.

Ralph looked at me, locking eyes for a few seconds. His eyes were a deep green. The colour was so rich and pure. He was staring into my muddy brown eyes. I broke the gaze first, not feeling comfortable with him looking at me. I had no idea how I looked, but I definitely felt awful. I had just been in a plane crash, been unconscious on a jungle floor, I hadn't washed my hair since before the plane trip, and, what I wouldn't do for a toothbrush!

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to make myself a little more presentable for Ralph. He was, after all, our leader. He deserved to have followers who were presentable. But that wasn't the real reason I wanted to look better - I might, _possibly_, like Ralph. Or, at least I could see it happening. He was cute and confident, a deadly combination.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me.

"Nothing in particular," I lied, "why do you ask?"

"You were just, smiling – you looked like you had something on your mind."

_Yes Ralph, I had something on my mind_. _Or rather, someone_. _You_, "No, I'm not really thinking of anything."

He opened his mouth to say something, but all of the sudden, the boys came to a halt. We had reached the top of the mountain.

Jack started commanding people to gather wood and branches. Everyone aside from Ralph, Piggy and I did. I wanted to think the fire idea through before jumping in. A bunch of young, teenage boys with fire probably wasn't the best plan.

When enough branches and leaves had been collected, everyone stood around the fire, just waiting. I didn't really know what for. The boys probably expected the fire to magically light. Jack looked around for something, anything that could help. He spotted Piggy and walked over to him. He grabbed Piggy's glasses off his face as Piggy wailed in protest.

"Shut up, Fatty!" was Jack's response. I rolled my eyes at his immaturity. What was his problem with Piggy anyway? Sure, he was annoying as hell, but that didn't really warrant Jack's already constant abuse.

My eyes followed Jack walking towards the fire. He got on his knees, positioning the glasses so the sun would catch the lenses. A spark flickered and suddenly the boys were around the fire, blowing on the flame to make it grow. As it grew, they threw more branches and leaves on it. The fire kept expanding. Ralph told them to stop, but it was too late. The fire had spread down the trees on the island and around where we were standing. Jack was yelling at everyone, telling them what to do, but no one listened. Everyone was just freaking out in their own way.

The fire did eventually died down. And we eventually realized one of the littluns was missing. Everyone was really stressed out after the fire. The group aside from a few of the hunters on fire duty went back down to the beach and tried to relax. The boys ran into the ocean and immediately started playing. But I couldn't. I sat on the beach, holding my knees to my chest. I angled my head down so I didn't have to look at anyone. I let my tears run free.

I didn't understand how everyone could be so _uncaring_. Someone on this island had just _died_. And it was all our faults. I lifted my head to see if there was possibly anyone else who cared, but all I could see was boys ignoring the truth.

Roger approached me. He was soaked from swimming, not a trace of regret on his face. He was just like the rest of them. Roger sat down next to me. I looked away.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked me harshly.

"Nothing. What's wrong with _you_?" I replied in the same tone.

He looked towards me with his eyes dark and evil-looking, "Nothing. You're the one who's acting fucked up." I rolled my eyes. So now I was acting fucked up because I felt bad that someone died because of us?

"Whatever, Roger. Just leave."

"Don't tell me what to do. I'll do whatever the hell I want. And you're going to listen to me because I'm your older brother. Do you understand?" He commanded me with a rough voice.

"No." He lifted his hand. I closed my eyes and braced myself for contact. But then I heard a voice. The voice of an angel.

"Roger, Jack wants you to take your shift on fire duty," I opened my eyes and saw Ralph speaking.

Roger gave me a warning glare before leaving. I breathed a sigh of relief when he left. I could see a look of sadness on Ralph's face as he stood over me. I knew he felt awful about what happened, and I felt my own mood lift. He sat down next to me in complete silence, but it was a comfortable silence. We looked at each other, and Ralph put his arm around my shoulders. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder as I cried.

A/N

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review. Review, review, review. That's probably the most used word in Author Notes on FanFiction, but for a good reason. :)

REVIEW!


	3. Guardian Angel

**A/N Short note this time: I like this chapter :)**

**Warning: Fluff alert! It won't be like this all story, I swear. Although, some fluff is nice :) Especially after last chapter's angst.**

Disclaimer: Even though I am spending my first few days of summer writing this story, I don't own anything other than Riley.

_**Guardian Angel: An extra-ordinary being who protects another being.**_

"Ugh," Ralph muttered when the last shelter collapsed _again_. Simon and I picked up the branches _again_ and started to rebuild the final shelter _again_. That's all we had been doing for the past few days. Everyone else had either left the beach to slack off and do who-knows-what or hunt. It was annoying. _Really_ annoying. Ralph, Simon and I were the only ones left to build shelters. And this one just wouldn't stay up. It kept collapsing. The first shelter we made was great – because everyone was helping. The second one was decent enough. Then there was the one we were building now.

I turned my glance away from the shelter and onto Ralph. He was working on the opposite side of the shelter, completely focused. I noticed he was working shirtless – not something I would've usually been aware of. As I was staring at him, the whole shelter came down again. The three of us sighed and sat down.

"Why don't we take a break?" Ralph suggested to the two of us, "We can go down to the beach for a while." We stood so we could leave, when a figure came out of the forest.

Jack had a frustrated expression on his face. He threw down his spear in aggravation.

"What are you so pissed about, Jack?" I asked him. I was so annoyed with him. He thought he had a right to be angry? All he had done for the past week was hunt without catching anything. We had tried to build a shelter so we could _survive_ and no one even cared. All Jack wanted to do was kill a pig.

"I'm trying to get us food! What are you so bitter about?" Jack seriously needs anger management. The littlest things sent him into a rage. I'd still rather make him angry more than I would Roger. At least Jack never hit me.

"We've been trying to build shelters for everyone all week, and you've been hunting. _That's_ what I'm so bitter about." As we were fighting, there was a strange glint in Jack's eye. Not hate or annoyance, but maybe… infatuation? Whatever it was, it made me hope that Ralph would continue the argument in my place.

"Do you want to eat?"

"We have lots of fruits to eat," I heard my guardian angel's voice say as he walked in front of me, "What we need now is shelters."

"I don't believe I was talking to you, Ralph. I think I was talking to Riley, so if you would be so kind…" Jack snarled as he tried to shove Ralph out of the way. Ralph didn't budge, but I spoke up anyway.

"We're done talking, Jack," I said, grabbing Ralph's toned forearm with one hand. I turned around expecting to see Simon, but he seemed to have disappeared. He must've got tired of the repetitive fight and left already.

I reluctantly let go of Ralph's arm once we were out of Jack's eyesight. I had come to terms with the fact that I liked Ralph more than a friend, but I didn't want him to figure it out. We were on a desert island for God's sake – that's no place to start any kind of romance. And it was kind of upsetting. If I had met Ralph in any other way, maybe we could've had something. But no, not now. Not while we're stranded on an island.

I looked up at Ralph, who was about five inches taller than me. I caught him staring down at me.

"What are you thinking about?" His question reminded me of our walk up the mountain a week ago. I smiled, because I was thinking about the exact same thing I was while going up the mountain.

"Nothing in particular," I gave him the same reply that I did a week ago. He smiled down at me, knowing exactly where my answer was coming from.

"How's your foot feeling?" He asked, bringing up the subject of my sprained foot.

"Much better. I don't think it was sprained, just sore." I was able to walk on it without searing pain now. It didn't hurt anymore.

We exited the jungle and stepped onto the sandy ground of the beach. We made our way over to a log and sat down, just watching the ocean. Further to our right, we could see most of the boys playing in the sand and water. I wondered if maybe Ralph wanted to join them, but he made no move to go – something I was very happy about.

We had some pointless conversation after a few minutes of silence. We talked about irrelevant things like our favorite colours, what foods we were craving, favorite animals, things like that. Before we knew it, the sun had started to set. I noticed most of the boys had left – the water got cold at night. There were still a few littluns playing, though.

I stared straight ahead as the sun disappeared. Bright pinks, yellows and reds highlighted and streaked the darkening sky, mesmerizing me. It was beautiful. I noticed Ralph doing the same thing as me – staring into the hypnotizing sunset. I rested my head on Ralph's shoulder – something I had become accustomed to after he rescued me from Roger. Ralph had kept Roger away from me since the close call last week, and I was grateful for that. I had never told Ralph what Roger and my mother used to do to me at home, but I had a feeling he knew. I would tell him eventually, but I didn't want to ruin this one, perfect moment.

A perfect moment. That's exactly what this was. For this one moment, I was able to let everything go. All of my family problems, my current life problems, my past, my future. I let everything go other than what I was feeling right now. Right now, everything felt magical with the bright colours stroking the sky. Right now, Ralph's arm around me felt like the most comforting thing in the world. Right now, I knew there was nowhere I'd rather be.

I re-positioned my head so that I was closer to Ralph. He used his arm around me to pull me closer into his side. At that moment, when he rested his head on top of mine, I realized that maybe – just maybe – being stranded on an island wouldn't stop us from being happy together. Me and my guardian angel.

But then the moment passed. The sun had slipped into complete darkness, leaving us for another night on the island. Another night of hearing littluns cry and scream in their dreams. Another night of getting glares from my brother and weird looks from Jack. Another night of shivering and sleeping in sand without any shelter to protect us from the harsh weather. But that also meant another night of feeling Ralph's strong arms hold me and protect me. Another night of me waking up on his warm chest and hearing his steady heart beat. And maybe being stuck here with Ralph was worth it. Maybe, as long as he was here, everything would be okay.

I pulled away from his shoulder, bringing Ralph out of his deep thought.

"What are you thinking about?" I turned the tables and took his question, expecting him to answer 'Nothing in particular'. And he surprised me when he didn't.

"You." I couldn't believe my ears. That was the way I wanted to answer his question so many times. He caught my eyes. I realized again just what a beautiful green his eyes were – dark green and shimmering in the vivid light of the moon.

I think he realized I didn't have a response to that, but nothing more needed to be said. His face moved slowly towards mine, as I moved mine towards his. Gently, he closed the empty space between us, his lips lightly lingering on mine. He surprised me when he didn't force more than just a light kiss on me, and for that, I was grateful.

His lips stayed there for a few more seconds, and for those few seconds, I experienced eternal bliss. It was a thoughtless sensation, and when he pulled away, my lips tingled. I could still feel the gentle touch of his lips on mine.

I smiled, as did he. In this one night, Ralph became the most important person to me – there was no one else in my life worthy of that title. My mother did nothing but hurt me. Roger had his moments, but with our extended stay on the island, he was becoming increasingly scary. Ralph and I sat there a few more minutes, with his arm held tightly around me, both of us just grinning.

Soon, boys started to pile onto the beach – the younger ones headed for shelters, older ones preparing for another night on the beach, since we didn't have a shelter yet.

Ralph and I let go of each other and made our way over to the sleeping area, acting like nothing had happened. We both laid down, making ourselves comfortable. When we were, I rested my head on his bare chest, and fell asleep to the feeling of his lips pressed to the top of my head.

**A/N Yay! They're together :) Chapter 3 in the actual book is about Simon's place in the forest, so I wasn't sure what to write about after the argument. I thought it was time to get the romance started.**

**Please review and tell me what you think! Did I rush the romance? Would you rather see Riley with Jack? I have to know these things so that you guys can enjoy the story more!**

REVIEW! ;)


	4. Deception

A/N So, I warned you guys. I spend my summers at my cottage, and it is really hard for me to update. I do write, though. I'm here just for a day, but I was able to get this chapter up.

**Anyway, this is the longest chapter yet! That's what comes out of writing on my iPod. Nothing looks long enough, but then it ends up being way longer than my other chapters. This chapter is darker than the last. I hope it lives up to my reviewer **_**Rainbow and Butterflies**_**' standards! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Flies.**

_**Deception: To cause belief of what is not true.**_

I woke up before sunrise. I fell asleep quickly, but didn't get a very restful night. I woke up in the same position - head on Ralph's chest. But that's why I didn't get a good sleep. What if Roger or even Jack found out about our kiss last night? I'm sure Jack would be incredibly pissed off, and Roger... Well, he would be even worse. It scared me to think about it.

I sat on the same log in the same spot I had the previous night. Last night was just, so, perfect. But the perfection could only last the night. I thought about the possible consequences for what I had felt, but I couldn't bring myself to regret what I'd done.

I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't turn to see who it was. To be honest, I really didn't care. However, I did care when Roger sat down.

"Hey," he said in his rough voice.

"Hey," I replied, trying to keep a monotone voice.

"Sleep well?" He seemed determined to try and have a normal conversation with me. I decided to play along.

"I slept okay. How about you?"

"Yeah, I slept well, I guess. Jack wanted to know why you and Ralph weren't at the fire last night." And there it was. Roger being a slave to Jack - asking me things Jack was to scared to ask me himself.

"We were down here, watching the sunset," I replied, looking ahead. Technically, that wasn't a lie. We did watch the sunset, along with various things I didn't want to tell my brother about.

Roger seemed to believe it, which was good. I didn't want him to go searching for the exact truth, because if he did, chances are he would find it.

"The hunters are all going hunting today. Hopefully we'll have some meat by tonight," he changed the topic.

"Yes, maybe Jack will finally be able to catch something." Something flashed through my brother's eyes when I referred to the fact that Jack had yet to catch a pig, but the weird glint disappeared when Jack appeared behind us.

"What are you two talking about?" Roger told him we were talking about the hunt today, which excited Jack and they started eagerly talking about strategy.

I started drifting into my own thoughts again, but I was soon pulled out when Jack asked me to get him a coconut shell. I didn't mind getting away from the hunting conversation - not at all - so I happily obliged.

I continued to think about what I was going to do about my situation with Ralph, and eventually forgot about my task. I wandered deeper into the jungle, until I found myself at the entrance of a clearing. Curious, I pushed a few creepers away from my face, and entered the beautiful area.

There I saw something more beautiful than heaven. The trees had collapsed in places, seemingly blocking the clearing off from the rest of the jungle. Vines fell down, holding the trees in place and creating a magical scenery. Bushes were placed just right, and long thickets of grass stood so tall, if you laid down in them, you could disappear.

I walked into the clearing out of pure astonishment. It was just, one of the most perfect things I had ever seen. I was amazed at its beauty. It didn't seem possible for anything to be that perfect.

I heard rustling in the bushes, and that pulled me out of my trance. I looked in the direction of the sound, and saw Simon pop his head through the vines.

"Oh, hello," he sounded somewhat happy and sad at the same time. I didn't know how that was possible.

"Hi, Simon."

"I didn't know anyone else knew about this place. I thought I..." he trailed off. Now I understood. This was his place, and I would leave it to him, even if it was perfect.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Simon. I'll go now," I stood up to leave, but I then heard his voice telling me to stay, so I did.

Simon and I seemed to talk for hours. We sat in the long grass, just chatting about our lives. Sometimes we'd just sit in silence. But a very comfortable silence. Simon was a shy boy. One of those people who didn't talk much, but when he did, he had something important to say.

We left the clearing when the sun started to beat down harder. It was probably about noon since the sun was at it's highest.

We headed to the fire together where there was safe water to drink. Samneric were there on fire duty. Simon and I stayed a while to talk to them. Eventually, Simon wanted to leave, but I wanted to stay and keep talking with the boys. Simon left, but I stayed and helped keep fire watch.

Jack and his hunters came up the hill to where we were sitting. He was painted in different colour makeshift war paint, as were the rest of the hunters. Black circles around Jack's eyes made the icy blue colour stand out. I couldn't help but find it kind of attractive.

_Attractive? You can't just kiss a guy one night, and like another guy the next!_ I mentally screamed at myself.

"Sam, Eric, go into the forest with the hunters. They'll prepare you for the hunt," Jack declared.

"But we have-"

"To watch the fire-"

"Ralph said!" The twins said at once.

"This is a big hunting mission. I need everyone to help," with that, Samneric went into the forest after the hunters. All of the hunters other than Jack. He stayed where he had been standing. When he had told the twins to hunt, he had been standing over them in a superior way, but he sat down beside me.

"So, Riley, would you like to come hunting?" I looked at him, surprised. There were so many things wrong with this picture. Jack seemed like the kind of guy who cared a lot about masculinity - it didn't make sense for him to be asking a girl to come hunting. And the way Jack asked me, it seemed sincere and inviting - out of character for him. Why was he acting so different with me? Normally all we did was fight, but the fighting was weird. It seemed to bring us closer together. But now, we weren't fighting - why was he acting nice? If I went, who would watch the fire? Would Roger be mad? Would Ralph think I was betraying him? I could only ask one of these questions. The others would give too much away.

"But then who would watch the fire?"

"No one," we locked eyes. His cold, blue eyes seemed to be daring me to come with him, "The fire will stay lit by itself for a while, and if it goes out, it goes out. No big deal. We'll just have to light it again," what Jack was saying made sense. Complete sense. We could re-light it later, but we needed meat now. We couldn't live forever on fruit from trees.

"Alright, fine. I'll go. But, don't I need my face painted or something?" Jack smirked, obviously happy he won me over.

"Yes. But we can do that right here," he leaned in towards the fire. He grabbed the end of a branch that wasn't burning, and moved it to the other side of the fire. He dipped his index finger into the charcoal at the bottom of our fire pit, covering his fingers in black dust. He leaned towards me, and brought his fingers to my face.

His fingers were really warm and felt nice. I could feel a black line being drawn beneath both my eyes, down my cheeks. Then there were black circles around my eyes, identical to Jack's. He then proceeded to draw a line from the top of my hairline, over the bridge of my nose, and down to my chin, but was sure not to get any charcoal on my lips.

"You need those for better things than war paint," he said jokingly. Even though it was a joke, I thought I heard some truth behind it. Instead of making me mad like it should've, it made me feel, well, flattered and, attracted to him.

Jack got to his feet and extended a hand to me to help me get up. I gladly took it and used it to pull myself from the ground.

We walked into the forest together, still hand in hand. He had tried to let go after I stood up, but I held on tightly. It would give me security from Roger.

Roger did look mad when I entered the forest in war paint and holding Jack's hand. Not only was I 'intruding' on his activity, but I was hand-in-hand with Jack - his best friend and leader.

Jack handed me an extra spear. I took it, but then I immediately felt regret of coming. I looked down towards my hand, and quickly slid mine out of Jack's. What would Ralph think? He was probably at the bottom of the forest, alone, and I was at the top, holding hands with another guy. I was deceiving his trust, and I couldn't do that.

Jack didn't seem to be fazed by my withdrawal. He made his way to the front of the group, near where Roger stood. I stood in the back, trying to blend in - something that was proving to be hard.

Then Jack said the two words that set off a riot of near-savagery, "Let's hunt!"

The boys started running forward like animals, screaming and shouting. We had been running for nearly forty-five minutes before we saw a pig. Suddenly, everyone stopped making noises and formed a circle around the creature. The pig must've sensed us and tried to run away - right towards me.

I didn't know if I could kill the pig, and stepped backwards in fear. There was a sudden flash of movement from my right side, and the pig was soon bleeding at my feet with a spear through its stomach. I looked down to see Roger pulling his spear out of the creature's flesh. His dark bangs covered the top of his eyes, but that made him even scarier. His dark eyes glinted in that awful way, and a menacing grin of evil and accomplishment spread across his face.

He stood, looked directly at me and whispered harshly, "You're welcome."

The whole group of hunters crowded around him, congratulating him. His expression had changed to one of superiority. I personally, liked this look a lot better than the previous one. I tried to leave the group without anyone noticing, but Jack caught my wrist in his hand before I could get anywhere.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, but it wasn't in an angry way - just inquiring.

"I was going to relight the fire," I lied.

"We'll do that when we get back. We're all leaving now, anyways, so stay," I once again found myself won over by his smooth talking and blue eyes. I started to wonder if maybe _he_ was deceiving _me_, but even if he was, he was only doing it to make me stay - and that counted for something.

A few of the choirboys had put a stick through the bleeding pig, and were carrying it. Somehow, Jack had kept me at the front of the line, and Roger was falling behind, a look of jealousy on his face.

He was jealous, why exactly? Because I was up front with Jack? Maybe the tables were turning - maybe I was becoming Jack's second-in-command. And maybe that wasn't such a bad place to be. I knew Jack wouldn't let anyone hurt me as long as he was my leader. And with that thought, I finally understood my life at home. Roger was second-in-command to mother because as long as she knew she could control him, she would never hurt him. At least not too badly. Roger had those nights where he was bruised and bloody, but never to the extent I was.

But now it was my turn. I had spent too many days being beaten and too many nights trying to stop the bleeding and pain to not get a chance to live my life. I would not live on this island in fear of Roger. I would have someone to protect me and look out for me.

I slipped my hand into Jack's just to prove a point to Roger if he was watching, and, ultimately, to prove a point to myself.

I vowed to forget my previous night of perfection so that I could have protection. And even though Ralph had protected me from Roger, there was no way Ralph could win a fight against my brother - but Jack could. Roger wouldn't even dare to try and fight Jack.

I would have to explain to Ralph when I got back to camp, and he would have to learn to deal with it. Now, I would officially become Jack's - a small price to pay for my own safety and protection from Roger.

I knew if there was anyone on this island who I could possibly fall for, it would be Ralph, but Jack had a lot to offer, too. Jack, who wasn't as great as Ralph, but who could protect me better. Yes, I would be Jack's. 

**A/N Did you enjoy it? Hmm? You know what I want. Reviews! And if you give me reviews, maybe I can incorporate what **_**you want**_** into the story! So review!**


	5. Control

A/N So I'm back from my cottage and I have written two chapters and a half of the next one. Please review and I will try to get another chapter up soon!

**Also, I am going to England on the 21****st**** for about a week and a half, so I won't be able to post then. Just thought I would let you know in advance. But, since I live in Canada… that's a pretty long plane ride. Lots of writing time :)**

_**Control: **__**To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over another.**_

As we continued our trek through the forest, I second-guessed myself. I always, _always_ hated myself for this. I could never stick with my decisions. But this was one I had to make and had to stay with. I didn't get a second chance.

Jack. Ralph.

I knew who I wanted to be with. I knew who I had to be with. I just hoped Ralph would understand.

But this presented another problem. How and what to tell Ralph? The how wasn't so important, but I still needed someway to tell him. I figured I should do it fast and direct. No use beating around the bush. So that solved one problem. But what? That was the harder decision. I didn't know what to tell him. That I was going to be with Jack; yes. But I didn't know if I should tell him why. I could tell him the truth - that I felt like Jack could protect me from my own brother better than he could - or I could lie. I could just tell him that I liked Jack better. But would lying to Ralph really be fair?

_Fair_? My life wasn't fair! Why did I have to be stuck on this island? And why did Roger have to be my brother - at least when he was angry? Why did I have to choose between the two leaders on this island? Why did they both _want me_? I was nothing special. I knew that. My mother made sure I knew that.

But asking myself answerless questions wasn't going to change anything. As much as I wanted it to, it wouldn't. So I had to accept my situation and do what I could to change it. I couldn't help crashing on the island, nor could I help having an angry Roger being my brother; but there were some things I could take control of. I had a choice. A choice between Jack and Ralph.

But I knew, deep down, there was no choice. I didn't have control once again. There was who my heart wanted and what my mind knew I needed. And I needed Jack. I needed him to protect me. I needed him to help me get respect from Roger. And I needed him to keep me safe. For once in my life, maybe I could live without _physical_ pain. And with Jack, I could live on top. He would bring me up to the second ranking. I would be his second-in-command. That meant I would have some control over what happened on the island. Some control over the hunters. Some control over _Roger_.

In that instance, I realized why I was on the island. I was here, so I could stand up to Roger, and turn my life around. So I could take charge over him, and make sure he knew he couldn't - nor could my mother - push me around. I was a person, and I had a life. I had choices and decisions. And I had chances to improve my life. Jack was my chance, and I had to take it - even if it meant hurting Ralph.

But I would have to tell Ralph something. And I still wasn't sure what to say. In the past few moments, I had realized why the pull of being Jack's was really so strong - _control_. But I wasn't telling Ralph that. I wasn't telling Jack that. My power-hungry secret would not pass my lips. No one had to know but me.

I shook my head, trying to escape my thoughts. My head would explode if I thought any more. I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. Jack and I were still leading the group towards the top of the mountain. The hunters were still behind us, chanting, "Kill the pig, slit her throat, spill her blood!" And Roger was at the back of the group, sulking and staring daggers in my direction.

I didn't know how I felt about that. I felt a little bad that I was 'stealing' his best friend away from him, but when I remembered all he had done to me, the guilt went away. This was nothing compared to the beatings I had taken from my insane mother as Roger stood by her side, not caring or trying to protect me. And this was nothing compared to the extent of what Roger had done to me when he had sometimes beaten me. This _thing_ with Jack was my way of getting revenge, I supposed. So if this was my revenge, Roger should feel it. He should feel the emotional pain deep down to the bone.

I stared ahead, noticing we were almost at the top of the mountain. Jack let my hand go so he could turn and face the entire group. When his fingers slipped out of mine, I felt my security net slipping away. I didn't feel safe from Roger without Jack by my side. Jack made a short announcement about cooking the pig, and we continued up the mountain. Sam and Eric came up on either side of me wordlessly. I suddenly felt a lot safer again. I watched as Jack walked in front of our group. The way he carried himself with such confidence and superiority was overwhelming. I didn't understand how anyone could look so arrogant but brave at the same time. It made me smile. Not a big smile, mind you, but a small smirk.

We turned the final corner, and we were finally at the fire pit. We were surprised to see Ralph, Piggy and Simon there - we assumed they would be down at the beach. It didn't matter anyways - we needed Piggy's glasses to re-start the fire to cook the pig.

The group was still chanting, but Jack signaled them to stop.

"We killed a pig!" He announced to the other boys.

"You let the fire go out," Ralph muttered in a very pissed off tone. I didn't see what the big deal was.

"So? We can re-light it. What's important is that we have meat!" Jack declared. This set off a wave of agreement upon our group.

"You let the fire go out," Ralph hissed once again.

"_So what_?" Jack asked harshly.

"There was a ship!" Ralph screamed. I could feel my face drain of all colour. There was a ship. If I stayed behind to watch the fire, they may have seen the smoke. We could've been rescued from the island. That may not be the best thing for _me_, but I was assuming for all of the boys on the island, it was. And I ruined it.

I looked to Ralph with an insanely apologetic look on my face. He noticed, and looked back towards Jack, scowling.

At least this would make what I had to tell him easier.

A/N Please review! 


	6. Fault

A/N I'm so sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Though it was posted the same day as the last, it wasn't written the same day. This chapter was incredibly hard for me to write. Not because of the chapter content, but because I was constantly writing through tears. Most of this chapter was written the day after I found out my friend died. I was going to give up on my writing for a while, but I didn't think that was fair to my readers. So, I wrote this chapter through my clouded head. I really didn't want to revise it, so I'm not sure how good (or bad) it actually is. I'd appreciate reviews to tell me. But, I apologize if this - and any other upcoming chapters - is too short. I just wanted my readers/reviewers to know I am writing through a grieving heart.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

_**Fault: **__**Responsibility for a mistake or an offense; culpability.**_

"Well," Jack tried to come up with a bright side to this situation, "if there's one ship, there's sure to be others. So we just keep the smoke going, and another one will pass by!" Again, the hunters murmured in agreement. I had a feeling they would agree to anything Jack said.

I, on the other hand, did _not_ want to agree with everything Jack was saying. But I didn't want to disagree, either. So I kept my mouth shut.

Piggy decided Ralph wasn't doing a very good job at guilting Ralph, so he intervened, "We could've gone home, Jack! We could've gone home! Instead you had to kill a pig! You and your blood, Jack Merridew! You and and your blo-"

Piggy's rant was cut short when the sound of flesh against flesh rang through the air. Suddenly, Piggy was grasping his red cheek from where Jack had slapped him. He continuously cried out about his glasses, which were now on the rocky ground. He felt around for them, but Simon picked them up first. He handed them to Piggy, who put them back on his round face, but only to find that the right lens had been cracked by the impact of the ground.

"Let's start the fire so we can feast!" Jack screamed, ignoring what had just happened. The hunters ignored it, too. They started preparing to cook their kill. Ralph sighed, and took Piggy's glasses. He re-lit the fire using the non-cracked lens.

I felt awful. I had stood by while these awful events took place. And I should've had the courage to stand up since it was all my fault. If it hadn't been for me, we all would've been on a ship heading home.

But since I couldn't go back in time, I should at least have the bravery to stand now and be the one to take the harsh words and the abuse.

But I just stood there amongst the hunters, like I was one of them. Which I _knew_ I wasn't. I couldn't hunt like them, think like them, _be_ like them. Maybe that was a good thing, though. I could slowly see the decent of the hunters into savagery. I didn't know what would happen once they were full-fledged savages, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be pretty. I wished I could stop it, but how was I, a fifteen-year-old girl, supposed to stop a pack of teenage boys from losing themselves to the hunt? Especially when Ralph, who was supposedly our leader couldn't even stop them?

I made my way over towards the fire. Everyone was gathering, getting ready to eat their meat. I took a seat next to Simon, who always seemed neutral about everything. There was an empty spot beside me, which Roger then filled. I said nothing, and shifted my weight towards Simon.

Once the pig had been cooked well enough, Jack used his knife to cut off the meat. He decided that your size of meat depended on how much he liked you.

Ralph barely got any. Simon got an average size. He didn't give Piggy any at all. What seemed to surprise everyone was the meat sizes of my piece and Roger's. Mine was noticeably larger, whereas Roger got the second-biggest piece. He glared at me with such an intensity, I thought I felt my skin burning. I was glad Jack was only a few feet away; Roger would never try anything with him so close. Especially considering I was his _favourite_.

"Am I not getting none?" Piggy asked in his annoying voice once Jack sat down with his meat, equal to the size of my piece.

Jack scowled at him and muffled a 'Shut up, fatty' through a full mouth. Simon threw his piece at Piggy's feet, claiming he didn't want any. Jack's eyes became angry as he stood up and roughly cut off another sizable chunk of pig meat.

"Eat, damn you!" He seethed angrily as he threw the meat towards Simon.

I looked down to my hands where my half-cooked, giant piece of pig meat laid. I hadn't taken a bite. My mind was just racing too much for me to chew. I was racked with guilt. It was my fault that these boys may never see their families again. _My fault_. I knew some of the blame could fall on Jack for talking me into joining the hunt, but the truth was, I _wanted_ to go. I could've resisted him if I had really wanted to, but I didn't. I wanted to hear his intoxicating voice and stare into his hypnotic eyes as he all but begged me to join him.

What I had done scared me. I knew leaving the fire was a bad idea, but Jack had somehow convinced me it wasn't a big deal and we could always re-light it. He never thought a ship was coming. He didn't believe in rescue. And if I joined him, would I give up on all rescue, too?

I looked at all the littluns who sat around the fire. I tried to imagine what would happen to them if there was never going to be rescue. Not only would the littluns feel it, but we all would. I knew some kids would be dragged down to a state below civilization. I knew if I joined Jack, I would be drowning with them. Something more terrible than ever would be unleashed in Roger, and I knew exactly who he would take it out on. Me. And maybe the littluns.

So, I had to find a way out. Not off the island, because I couldn't control that. But, a way to save our civilization. And I needed to start in the center of our ultimate downfall. The one person who I thought was most at fault, other than myself.

No, not Roger, but Jack. Somehow, I would have to get it through the chief hunter's head that he needed to give up hunting and join Ralph in leading us towards a better future on the island.

Yeah, right.

A/N Please review! 


	7. Betrayal

A/N Again, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I wrote it while on vacation, and I didn't have much time to write, but I did want to have something finished for my readers when I got home. So, I hope this chapter will suffice!

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing other than Riley.**

_**Betrayal: To be false or disloyal to.**_

"I'm calling a meeting. _Now_," Ralph stood up rigidly. He had said this in a very commanding voice - out of character for him. He started to walk away, but then changed his mind. He walked towards where I sat. I tried to duck my head in some kind of attempt to hide myself. One that obviously would not and did not work.

"Riley, would you please join me?" He asked in a way that left no room for rejection. I sighed as he held his hand out to help me stand. I ignored it, and stood on my own.

He slumped his shoulders slightly after that, but recovered quickly. It reminded me of earlier when I had pulled my hand away from Jack and he didn't seem to care at all. He was stone - showing no emotion at all. I couldn't tell whether I liked that or not. It could go either way. There was the feeling that if he showed no emotion towards that, would he be willing to show me how he felt? But, then again, it showed he had confidence in himself. And confidence was important.

I could see Jack staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't dare look at him. I didn't look at Ralph on my other side, either. I couldn't. I resolved not to look into Ralph's soft, caring eyes. Otherwise, my words would fail me and there was no way I could follow through on my plan. I looked towards my bare feet, and tried not to look up.

We had just walked into the edge of the forest when Ralph opened his mouth to speak. Then he proceeded to close it, and stayed silent. I fought off the temptation to speak by biting my tongue.

"Why did you go hunting?" He finally blurted out. I was hoping we wouldn't have to talk. I kept my eyes on my feet, focusing on a large piece of dirt on my big toe.

"Because Jack invited me," I replied quietly, not wanting to add to that statement.

"But, yo-, I mean-'" Ralph seemed to be choking on his words. He took a deep breath, and restarted, "You're not a hunter."

I decided at that moment to just pretend I liked Jack more. It would be easier, the way the conversation was heading, "Why can't I be? Is it because I'm a girl? Because Jack looked passed that!"

"I highly doubt he looked passed the fact that you're a girl," Ralph muttered. I felt a blush creeping up my neck to my cheeks. Damn blushing. It always gave me away.

"But if you were hunting, you knew no one was watching the fire. And I just don't know why you - of all people here - would neglect the fire. At least you understand how important fire is. Because without it, we're never going home. _Never_," Every word he spoke was completely true. Every word hit me hard, making my heart sink more and more. I was about to go and completely hurt him when I knew he was the one I wanted to be with. And I knew he was right. Jack didn't understand about the fire. Would it really be safe to be with someone who didn't care about any rescue? I knew that I, personally, was considering that the island might be better for me than my true home, but my thoughts were outweighed by the group's needs. And they needed to get home. Jack wasn't helping them with that. He was obsessed with hunting and just killing pigs. Maybe he _did_ want to go home, but he was being blinded by the draw of the hunt.

But, I had made this decision already. Right now was the time to set it in stone. Some time during this walk I had to tell Ralph, and he would have to get over it. _I_ would have to get over it.

"I'm sorry, Ralph," I started. This wouldn't be my only apology to Ralph tonight, "It was a mistake."

"Whatever," he mumbled and looked towards the ground. He started to kick around a pebble, avoiding eye contact.

"Ralph," I started, "I have to tell you something. And you aren't going to like it," Now was the time. I had to get it out now. No more beating around the bush.

After a long pause, Ralph finally muttered a near-inaudible, "Go ahead."

I took in a sharp breath before saying what had to be said, "You, me. We're just not going to work out, Ralph," I could feel each and every word burn my throat as they slipped past my lips. It really hurt me to be saying this. I was about to say something about Jack and I, but Ralph began speaking before I had the chance.

"Let me guess, this has something to do with you and Jack, right?" He spat bitterly, reading my mind. Well, not completely. He read the _situation_. If he read my mind, he would know the _real_ reason to my betrayal. Protection, power.

I froze for a moment, searching for any words to say. When I couldn't come up with any, I mutely nodded my head.

Ralph's face twisted into an expression of hurt, anger and betrayal. Wordlessly, he stormed off, leaving me to fend for myself in the forest. Again, unlike him. Although he was one of the only boys on the island who wasn't obsessed with hunting, he still seemed to be changing. Becoming a harder and colder version of himself.

I had to find my way out of the forest now. I walked in a straight line until I had to make a decision - left or right. I chose right, and the continued choosing random ways to walk. I didn't care about getting to the assembly any more. I just wanted to find a secluded part of the island - possibly the clearing Simon and I had - so I could just sit down and cry. The acid-like tears were already brimming in my eyes, but not yet spilling over the surface.

As I wandered deeper into the forest, the trees starting to thin out. I could see a cave in the distance. I decided to head in that direction - I doubted anyone could find me there.

When I reached my destination, I noticed there was a cliff leading up to a large cave with boulders surrounding it.

I trekked my way up the cliff, slipping a few times, scraping my knees and hands, causing a little blood. I ignored the bleeding, determined to reach the large cave.

When I finally got to the top of the cliff, I walked towards the entrance of the dark cave. There was a large boulder in the way, so, using all my strength and force, I pushed it hard. It barely moved, but it did open the cave a little more. I tried to roll the boulder, and successfully opened the entire entrance to the cave. It rolled towards the edge of the cliff, but didn't fall.

I made my way into the cave and headed into a back corner. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I allowed my tears to run free. I didn't care anymore. No one could see me. Not Ralph, not Jack, not my mother and _especially_ not Roger.

No longer did I consider the possibility that the island was better for me than home. At home, I never hurt anybody. But now, I had hurt Ralph - emotionally, of course. Ralph, who was one of the purest, truest and most reliable people on this island. I had hurt him just for a chance to get back at Roger. And now, I was about to use Jack for my own gain.

I was turning into a monster. No, wait, _much_ worse than that. I was becoming a beast.

A/N I'm not really sure how much I like this chapter, but please review and tell me what you think.


	8. Fear

A/N Words truly cannot express how sorry I am. The last year has been hard for me, what between school, work and personal lives. I was forced to take a break from writing due to lack of time and some writers block. However, I remembered this story and reread it, rediscovering how much I liked it. I am going to try my best to finish this story no matter how long it takes. If any of my readers are still out there, all I can say is _thank you_. If not, and I'm writing to myself, than it's worth it to know I accomplished what I set out to do.

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

I had been in this cave for a while. I didn't know how long, and to be honest, I didn't care. I wanted to stay in there forever, away from everyone. As long as I was in here, I couldn't hurt anyone. Other than myself, emotionally. The tears kept flowing down my cheeks, but I really didn't care anymore, like I didn't care about anything anymore. My mother wasn't here, so she could no longer intimidate me. And, if we ever got off this island, I refused to live with her and Roger again. If this island had taught me anything, it's that I am my own person, and nobody could change that.

Although I may be stupid, weak, scared, indecisive and a total pushover at times, I was still human. I obviously had choices to base my life upon, and that's what I planned to do for the rest of forever. Whether my forever happened to be on this island or back in England, I decided I would live my life the way I wanted.

And right now, I just wanted to curl up and die. And I would've done it, too. But, I heard someone's frantic footsteps in the distance. That's when I knew something had to be wrong.

I crawled up to the entrance of the cave, looking out to see what was happening. I was sure if I kept crouched down and stayed in the darkness, I could see outside and no one could see in.

I decided that if it was somebody I didn't hate passing by, I would go with them to camp. I couldn't stay here for long. I really just needed a little bit of time to myself.

I saw Samneric running down the mountain, towards the cave I was hiding in. I stood up, outside of the cave, and they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw me. They initially looked scared, but then noticed who it was.

"Riley! We have to run! We-"

"Saw the beast!"

"In the forest!" The twins exclaimed at the same time.

"Guys, there's no beast..." I trailed off. To be honest, I didn't think there really was a beast, but something inside me told me to be warned. That there was, in fact, something on this island. Beast or otherwise.

"But we saw it!"

"Big dark eyes!"

"And sharp claws!"

"Run!" They finally finished.

Sam had taken a hold of my right wrist tightly and started dragging me behind his running feet roughly. Finally, giving into his strength, I started to run. He let go of my wrist and I ran up beside him. We were silent until we reached camp. Many of the boys were asleep in their shelters, but I could vaguely make out Ralph's broad figure, sitting alone on a log, deep in thought.

I sighed, remembering once again that he probably hated me. So, when Samneric jogged up to him to talk about what they thought they saw, I hung back.

I heard the twins whispering anxiously to Ralph. I could barely make out any features on Ralph's face, but I saw his expression twist into one of doubt and fear.

"Are you sure?" I heard Ralph ask Samneric. They nodded their heads quickly, clarifying that, in fact, they did see the beast.

"Okay..." Ralph trailed off, obviously trying to think of what to say next. He stood up and paced around for a moment.

"Riley," he finally spoke, making shifty eye contact with me, "Go wake the other bigguns. I'm calling an assembly. No littluns," he clarified.

I headed towards the shelter the older kids slept in. Yes, that shelter was finally finished. I stepped in and carefully shook the boy nearest to me. Maurice lifted his sleepy head and muttered something incoherently. Probably cursing. Sleep didn't come easily when you were cramped in a tiny shelter made of sticks with more then ten kids in it while sleeping on the beach of a deserted island, knowing that with one strong gust of wind, the shelter was coming down.

"Maurice, Ralph wants me to wake all the boys in this shelter," I told him. He swore under his breath _again_ and muttered something about Ralph's leadership skills.

He then proceeded to kick the nearest person. Jack's mop of red hair immediately shot up, as if he was on guard for anything. More specifically, the beast.

"Your girlfriend wants everyone in the shelter awake. Ralph's calling an assembly or some bull shit like that," Maurice told Jack. I could feel my cheeks heating up at the mention of 'girlfriend', but quickly caught myself. Ralph. What about him? I couldn't just forget about him.

Now Jack groaned and began to wake his friends. I took the time to slip away from the shelter and head towards the assembly area. I sat on a log beside Eric, and silently waited for the sleepy boys to find their way towards the meeting. 

Some of the boys gave me strange looks when walking into the assembly. It was hard to see their faces, but it almost seemed like they were giving me the same look they did in those first few hours of the crash. Kind of like they were saying 'What is _she_ doing here?'. I wasn't really gone for that long, was I?

Simon was the first of the boys who were sleeping to make it into the meeting area. He graciously took a seat next to me, making me feel thankful. He was much better for me to sit beside _right now_ than Jack or Roger or Ralph. I was sure that soon I would be sitting next to Jack at every meeting. But right now, Simon was the perfect person to be sitting with. He was so kind and, in a way, he was calming. I felt myself relax at his aura. And now I'm sounding insane.

The rest of the boys filed in and took their seats among the assorted logs. Ralph stood in front of the crowd and grasped the conch tightly in his hands. I could see the moonlight glittering off the polish of the shell's surface. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly changed his mind and handed the conch to the closest twin instead.

"We saw the beast-" started Eric.

"We saw him with our own two eyes." Sam cut in.

The two went back and forth, retelling the story to the group of teenagers sitting in front of them. I quickly looked around the half circle, inspecting each and every boy's face. Most looked horrified, too scared to speak. However, when my eyes trained on Jack and Roger – sitting side by side, of course – I saw a different emotion. Excitement. Anticipation. Desire. Bloodlust. Anything but fear. I knew exactly what would come next.

"This will be a real hunt! Who's coming?" Jack jumped up and exclaimed when the twins were done. Ralph quickly refuted him, pointing out that with wooden spears they stood no chance. Their usual fighting went back and forth until Jack questioned Ralph's manhood.

"Scared?" Ralph's expression turned to one of loathing and bravery.

"Of course not-" Jack shoved a spear to the blonde's chest before he could finish his sentence.

"But what will we do about the littluns?" He finished hesitantly.

"Leave them." Jack answered simply.

"Someone has to stay and protect them," Piggy quietly mumbled. Jack sneered.

"And who shall it be, fatass? You? You can't hardly protect yourself."

"I- I'll stay back with him," I heard myself say. Not that I was afraid, nor could I really do much harm if a beast came to attack the camp, I just didn't think I could take being in the same place as Jack and Ralph together for much longer.

The look on Jack's face became mocking, as if he were going to say exactly what I had been thinking – I couldn't fight much better than Piggy. But, thinking twice he walked over to me. He lowered his face ever so slightly so I was looking straight into his eager blue eyes.

"Are you sure you want to stay behind? I won't be here to protect you and it won't be safe," he whispered, his breath tingling against my lips.

"It's not going to be safe chasing after a monster, either," I pointed out.

"It's not safe anywhere on this island. At least if you were with me I can look out for you," he lifted his right hand and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"There's a few extra spears around camp, make sure you have one with you at all times, okay? I don't want my princess getting hurt," and with that he took me by surprise as his lips crashed against mine. It wasn't a sweet soft kiss as Ralph's had been, but a more forceful, powerful, and yet strangely stimulating one. I liked it a lot more than I expected to.

"O-okay," I stumbled over my words as he let me go. He smiled and placed another short kiss on my forehead before walking towards the rest of the boys, some of whom were cheering and wolf whistling. My eyes met Ralph first. He gave me the darkest look I've ever seen dawn his features as he turned his glare away, completely disgusted. Coming up immediately to Ralph's side was my brother. He turned to me to give me a death glare, one that promised revenge. He then trained his sights on the ground and didn't look up again. Finally, Jack turned towards me, grinned sheepishly and started leading the hunters away.

I couldn't imagine what their hunting trip may turn into. I just hoped Jack would come back alive. Ralph and Roger both looked pretty angry. I outwardly sighed, the confusion of what – and who – I wanted was clearly getting to me.

"Riley?" I heard Piggy say from behind me. I spun to face him and instinctively plastered a smile on my face.

"Yes?"

"What do we do now?" His voice quaked. He was scared. I suddenly felt badly for him, and looked to my left and right, looking for the answer to his question. I spotted the rest of the spears propped up against our shelter and walked towards them. Grasping two in my grip, I walked back towards Piggy, handing one to him.

"Well… I guess… we wait."

**A/N So if there's anybody still out there (or anyone new), reviews are much appreciated. **


	9. Embarrassment

**A/N Man oh man, has it been a while. I could give you a hundred excuses that would all be true: my computer broke over the course of the summer, I just started University, my interest waned, etc etc but you guys don't need to hear that. Here I am, **_**finally **_**updating. Like I said from the very start, I fully intend on finishing this story no matter what. So (almost) without further ado, here is chapter 9.**

**Also, on another note, I did just open up my beta profile again. So, if you're interested, let me know. Heads up, I do only beta for Lord of the Flies. Thanks!**

_**Embarrassment: A feeling of self-consciousness, shame or awkwardness.**_

Piggy and I sat side by side on the logs. Our arms were pressed together, trying to conserve warmth in the harsh wind of the night. He was shaking, though I was unsure whether it was from the cold or the fear. I, on the other hand, sat stationary, staring out at the ocean, deep in thought with the occasional shiver going down my spine. Piggy and I hadn't spoken in at least half an hour, and I could tell he was dying to get something off his chest. He shook and fidgeted and cleared his throat, consistently breaking me away from my thoughts.

He cleared his throat yet again, causing me to snap at him.

"What do you need, Piggy?" I asked harshly.

"I was just curious… do _you_ think there's a beast?" He asked hesitantly.

I paused for a moment. Did I believe there was a beast? There was certainly something on this island. However, was it a real, dangerous, violent creature, or rather something we've created? Was there a tangible monster, or was the monster really just within ourselves? Thinking that my true theory may be too hard to explain to Piggy, I simply replied, "No."

Piggy stayed silent for a moment, looking embarrassed that he had asked. I continued to fix my gaze out to sea.

"Then what are the boys chasing? What are they doing if there's no beast?" He seemed to be looking to me for reassurance.

"Well, I don't know! They're just boys being boys, I suppose."

After that we stopped talking. Both of us stared out onto the large body of water, wondering if we would ever be found. We waited impatiently for the boys to return, hopefully with good news and in one piece. Granted, I knew Piggy was afraid of a mythological creature attacking them, but I was more afraid they would rip each other to shreds. My mind casually started to drift off, tired from the lack of sleep. The last thought in my mind before it all went black was if the hunters would even be back before morning.

I awoke to the unmistakable huffing sound of boys trying to catch their breath mixed with frantic footsteps. Piggy was already awake and on high alert as his voice cut through my groggy mind, squealing, "What's wrong?!"

The boys halted at the platform, checking to see if they were safe. Finally, after a moment or two of panting, Ralph spoke up.

"We saw it. We saw the beast."

Jack joined him at his side, ready to support the story, "It was big. And it bulged! Its face was monstrous and it made some sort of weird sound!"

Suddenly, Roger had joined the duo, followed by the rest of the hunters. They all started talking at once, telling the gruesome tale of what lay at the top of the mountain. They all seemed scared out of their wits, excluding Roger. He seemed, well, fascinated. I shut my eyes and shook my head just a little. As the morning light shone down on our camp, the littluns started to rise and join our meeting.

"Are you sure?" Asked Piggy for the hundredth time.

"We know what we saw," Ralph replied coldly.

"Are we safe here at the platform?"

"How the fuck are we supposed to know?" Jack's voice broke through the conversation.

"Well… what are we going to do?" 

Everyone remained silent. Finally, as the leader of the group, Ralph spoke up, "We can't even make a signal fire now. That's where the beast lives. So that's it, I suppose. All we can do is hide down here and hope for the best."

"Hey, we could fight it. In the light, I mean. We still have the hunters." The former choir boys nodded in approval behind Jack.

"They're nothing more than kids with sticks," Ralph retorted, getting to his feet to face Jack.

"What did you say about my hunters? You'll pay for that, Ralph," Jack got a dark look in his eyes.

"Oh, just shut up!" Ralph yelled. Suddenly, Jack had snatched the conch from Ralph's hands and begun to blow, signaling the beginning of a meeting. The few littluns not already on the platform scampered in, ears ready and waiting for what was to come.

As Ralph begun to talk, Jack cut him off, stating he called the meeting. They had a hushed dispute over who the leader of the discussion would be before Ralph finally gave in, seemingly uncaring about who started to talk – he would eventually voice his opinion anyways. I sat patiently between Piggy, still at my side from the night previous, and Sam.

Jack begun to speak of the excursion the night previous, telling the already frightened littluns the one thing they didn't need to hear. I looked around the group and noticed that Simon was missing. I silently hoped he was in his special place away from the rest of these batty boys.

Ralph and Jack began to fight as per usual. They fought about what Ralph did or didn't say about the hunters, about their next plan of action. Finally, Jack had hit his boiling point.

"Who thinks Ralph oughtn't be Chief?" Everyone at the assembly seemed shocked. Frozen. Unable to move. Hell, I was shocked, frozen and unable to move. I knew that at some point, and some point soon, that Jack would openly question Ralph's leadership abilities, however I didn't expect it to come so abruptly. I looked around at the faces of the other boys. Not one hand was raised. Curiously, not even Roger's.

Jack repeated the question. No one made eye contact with him. His face turned as red as his hair with embarrassment and shame.

"Well, I'm not going to be part of Ralph's lot anymore."

"-Jack-" Ralph tried to cut in to stop him from making a mistake. This was bad. This was bad for everyone.

"No! I'm going off by myself. Anyone who wants to hunt – who wants to have fun – can come too."

And with that Jack Merridew ran into the forest, leaving nothing behind but the shocked faces of the rest of the tribe.

Piggy began to speak reassurances to Ralph – "he'll come back", "he can't survive long alone", but Ralph still seemed to be distressed over the whole series of events. I knew Jack wasn't coming back. I also knew I wouldn't be joining him. Roger would soon go and I could just stay on the opposite tribe. Wouldn't that be the ultimate form of protection?

I raised my head and saw Roger saunter off in the direction Jack had gone. Following my brother were Robert and Maurice. Soon other members of the choir began to leave. Even a few littluns left. All the while, Ralph and Piggy sat, discussing having a fire on the beach, not even realizing most of the Chief's once loyal followers had departed. Ralph ordered the remaining boys plus myself to go gather some firewood. When I returned, the only people left were Ralph, Piggy, Samneric a couple of littluns and I.

"Did everyone leave?" I asked the four older boys sitting on a log, already knowing the answer.

"Yes," Ralph responded without looking me in the eye, "and why aren't you with them?"

Sighing, I took a seat on the opposite end of the bench. Leaning forward so that I could see the blonde boy better, I simply said, "you're a better leader, Ralph."

He leaned forward and caught my eye, "then why did you pick him?"

The three boys sitting between us quickly grew uncomfortable, grunted out a few excuses and left, presumably going back to the shelters.

If I was going to stay here with Ralph, why didn't I just tell him the truth? The truth about my mother and Roger and why I agreed to be Jack's anything in the first place. And so I did.

The truth came tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall. My face was red with embarrassment and my eyes were watery, but I told Ralph everything from my life at home, to feeling scared of Roger here to just wanting to feel safe for once in my life.

When I finished and I had been reduced to a big blubbering mess, Ralph wrapped his arms around me and silently held me. He placed his chin on my head while I cried. There was nothing romantic about the gesture, he was simply a supportive friend helping another friend through a rough time. And honestly, in that moment, that's all I really wanted.

**A/N So there you have it. I would love it if there's anyone reading this if you would review. It would mean a lot to me. It would hopefully inspire me to force myself to write and finally get this story done! So please, take two minutes out of your day and give me your feedback. Thank you :)**


	10. Beast

**A/N Look how fast that was, wow! That should make up for neglecting this story for so long… right? (no) This is the longest chapter so far, however, it is mostly filler until the last quarter or so. Anyways, enjoy! Also, beware, there's a long Author's Note at the end, but read it! It has some important stuff.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Flies.**

_**Beast: The crude and animalistic nature common to humans.**_

It turns out, that with Jack and his hunters gone, life went on. Ralph, Simon, Piggy, the twins and I had begun and maintained a small signal fire near our campsite on the beach. It was hardly big enough to start smoke, never mind cook anything, but with the hunters gone that wasn't an issue. Only once we encountered the boys since they left, after a few painted, unnamed savages came to our camp and stole a burning branch right out of the makeshift fire pit. Ralph seemed awfully disgruntled about the whole incident considering the fact he claimed he would've given them fire had they just asked. The way I saw it, though, was that as long as they only had the one branch, they would have to keep the fire going. That meant one signal fire on our side of the island, and one on theirs. It doubled our chances of rescue.

I had decided I wanted to go home after all. Not home home, but back to England. I was sure I could find some other living arrangements, but life on the island was getting increasingly difficult and increasingly dangerous.

Currently, Ralph and I were sitting by the fire in broad daylight. His eyes were trained on the flickering flames as he poked a branch with a twig in a vain attempt to keep the smoke soaring high enough in the rare case a ship passed by. The few littluns left in our camp splashed about in the water. Piggy sat on the shore of the ocean with his feet in the water watching to make sure there wasn't any trouble. Even if there had been, he wouldn't have been of much use. I could see it perfectly enough in my head – a littlun is beginning to drown, Piggy realizing and wheezing for Ralph's help. Ralph, of course, would be the hero who swam out to the little boy and dragged him safely to shore. Logic indicated that Ralph should really be sitting by the tide, but I wasn't going to complain. The twins were in the forest collecting fruits as they were our only option for food now. Simon was off on his own somewhere – I assumed his secret clearing. It was a peaceful day.

Ralph and I were quiet. After my big confession to him a few nights back, we hadn't talked a lot. I guess there was nothing left to say. I pulled my knees up to my chin to rest my head. Ralph turned his head towards me and opened his mouth to speak, but a rustling from the trees to his right made him snap his neck away from me. From the forest walked out four demonic looking boys painted red and black. The leader of the group was only recognizable by his shock of red hair and the way he walked, full of confidence. His lieutenant was only recognizable by the dark venomously brown eyes that shone with absolute hatred – the eyes that I knew once matched my own. I broke the staring contest with my brother, feeling almost sick. I couldn't have recognized the other two savages if my life had depended on it.

"Ralph, Riley," he acknowledged us.

"Jack," we replied in unison, nodding politely. I could see him bite back a snarky remark before continuing on.

"My tribe has caught a pig!" He exclaimed, the other savages whooping and cheering behind him, "So we're having a feast. If you'd like to bring your tribe, _Chief_, feel free. You're all invited. And maybe, just, maybe, if you beg I'll let you all join my hunters."

With that, Jack turned his back on the fair haired boy and I and sauntered back into the forest, his minions in tow. Roger gave me one last death stare before disappearing right behind his Chief. Ralph sighed and went back to poking the fire. We continued to sit in silence.

Eventually Samneric came out of the forest, through the same clearing the hunters had. They held bananas, coconuts and a couple more exotic looking fruits.

"Hey guys-"

"We brought-"

"Lunch!" They finished, grinning identical grins side by side. With promise of food Piggy jumped to his feet and immediately made a run for the bananas. I noticed he forgot about his job watching the littluns as they were still splashing about in the ocean. I stood up, walked out to the shore to call them back.

"Boys!" I yelled, "food!" They came racing in and began bashing coconuts against a rock faster than I could blink. I myself grabbed a banana and a coconut, then reclaimed my place beside Ralph.

"Do you want to share the coconut?" I asked the Chief who was munching away at a banana.

"Sure," he grinned at me. Left without a knife, he grabbed the coconut and began his attempt to break it open, much like the littluns. The coconut I had given him broke open before the young ones had even made a dent in theirs yet, so he traded the one he had broken to one of the littluns. In no time, he had smashed the coconuts of all the young boys. He was left with just the one, broke it open and placed it between us. I smiled and took a sip.

* * *

Night came faster than usual. There was a large storm brewing overhead. The clouds ranged anywhere from dark grey to black, and they occasionally covered the moon, depriving us of our only source of light. Ralph, Piggy, the few littluns and I sat around the dying fire. Piggy's stomach rumbled. The littluns moaned in hunger. But no one dared walk into the forest to get some fruit.

"Where has Simon and the twins gone off to?" Piggy asked the open space.

"The twins? Off to Jack's fire I suppose," Ralph responded.

"Simon, not so much," I finished answering the question.

Piggy's stomach rumbled again. I sighed in exasperation. I was hungry too but Piggy's stomach constantly reminding me was not helping.

"You know, Ralph," Piggy started, "we could go to Jac-"

"No, Piggy," Ralph stated adamantly. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled. I was hungry. The littluns were hungry. Piggy was hungry. Apparently, Ralph was also hungry. Even though it would make us look weak, maybe it was best to go to Jack's fire.

"Ralph, perhaps we should go," he turned to look to me, "I mean… we're all hungry… and if we go, we could always keep an eye on things. Make sure the feast doesn't get too out of control." Piggy enthusiastically nodded along to my sentiment.

"Yes, Ralph, we ought to go keep an eye on things."

I could see Ralph's resolve wavering. I knew we were going to the feast.

"Fine," he said after a few moments of silence, "but don't act too excited when you get there."

* * *

By the time we got to Castle Rock, what the hunters were now calling their home base, the party was already in mid-swing. Boys danced around the fire, screaming war cries and generally causing chaos. Jack sat on a log, painted head to toe. He sat with an air of arrogance and power radiated off him in waves. Beside him sat his most faithful disciple, my brother.

When Jack saw our small group approaching, he smiled like a shark.

"Halt!" He yelled at his hunters. They stopped in mid-dance as their dictator put an end to their activities, "Bring them some meat."

Immediately, three painted savages began cutting into the hide of the roasted pig and brought the delicious smelling meat to us. Piggy ate like there was no tomorrow, as did the littluns. Ralph and I ate with slightly more integrity, but not by much.

"So, before we get back to the _festivities_, who will join my tribe?" Jack announced, his voice full of command. The three littluns we came with immediately shot their hands into the air. Ralph, Piggy and I stood still, continuing to chew our dinners. I caught a glimpse of the twins, sitting on a log, eating their meat, but not painted and without their hands in the air. I guess that meant they were still on our side.

Jack looked prepared to start a fight with Ralph. To question his leadership skills. To question his masculinity. However, he contained himself. Instead he began to speak to me.

"Riley, come sit with me would you? The rest of you, continue your dance," he glanced quickly at my brother, "that means you too, Roger."

Roger stood from his spot, submitting to his Chief's orders, however, passing by me, I could see his eyes full of hatred and fire. I was sure he was going to punch me right in the jaw, but he kept on walking. I walked straight past him to take a seat beside Jack. Ralph and Piggy stared in my direction before a savage – Maurice, possibly – walked up to the pair, handing them spears. He dragged them around the fire, trying to get them participating in the dance. They eventually did let loose and join in.

"So, Riley," he began, draping an arm possessively over my shoulder. I tensed up at the contact, "how is it over on Ralph's side? Obviously it can't be too good since you're over here."

"Actually," I said, removing his arm from my shoulders gently, "we're doing well. We're only here to keep an eye on things."

"Ha!" Jack barked out, "Hear that, Robert?" He stopped a savage who was running by.

"No, what's that, Chief?"

"Ralph's lot is only here to keep an eye on things," he drawled out sarcastically. The two boys laughed menacingly as Robert went back to the dance. Riley scowled.

"So, you sure you still don't want to join me? You could be my queen," Jack persuaded, "You would never go hungry. You would have power."

"No, thank you, Jack," I responded. He was tempting me, but I wouldn't let it work.

"One more thing," he leaned close to me, his breath hitting my ear as he whispered, "and, I could protect you from your brother."

My eyes went wide, mouth dropping in disbelief.

"How- how did you know about that?" I managed to stutter out. He just grinned. Standing up, he took my hands and pulled me to my feet.

"Just think about it. Now, though, you'll dance." He grabbed two spears off of the ground, handing one to me. I glanced at the familiar object remembering the time I hunted with the tribe.

"Bill's the pig!" Jack yelled loudly. Bill immediately dropped to all fours, leaving his spear abandoned and started snorting like a pig. The boys chased him around, pretending to stab their prey. Jack pulled me along behind him, attempting to get me into the game. I was hesitant, but the boys were using the dull ends of the spear and everyone seemed to be happy playing. I let go of my insecurities and jumped right in.

Soon, the game escalated. Now we weren't hunting a pig, but the beast. The beast walked on two legs, and scared the littluns. My brother seemed to be especially good at playing this role.

But as the night wore on, excitement and adrenaline grew higher. I could feel myself enjoying the game more and more each second. I wanted to be up at the front. I wanted to be a hunter. I could pick out Ralph, Piggy and the twins in the crowd, having as much fun as I was. I stabbed down to the ground beside Maurice's head in pure euphoria.

"The beast!" A littlun separated from the group screeched, pointing towards the edge of the forest. Every head in our pack of savagery snapped their heads in the same direction. From the forest, a large mass of shadows crawled through the night, right towards the tribe.

"Kill it!" Jack commanded his troops.

All of us began our chant, echoed by war cries as we ran.

"Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!"

We ran to the creature, thrusting our spears downward as the thing cried out in pain and agony. I felt the tip of my sharp spear sink into flesh over and over again. Blood stained the sandy beach as the thing made one last moaning sound. I saw Roger take one last go at the creature before slamming his spear downwards, movement ceasing completely.

As we all stepped backwards, the sky erupted, rain cleaning off the newly dead corpse. As the dark red liquid washed away from the face of the beast, Simon lay peacefully and unmoving, craters sickly lining his torso. The young boy's tears and blood washed away into the ocean, followed by his body. No one made a move to stop the cadaver from being dragged out to see. Everyone watched silently as their consequences for their actions was taken away from the island of horror, never to be seen again.

**A/N So I didn't get many reviews on the last chapter – and thank you to all who did! If you're reading, please review! It is very much appreciated. Please give me feedback, tell me what you would like to see in the future. I knew how this story was going to end from the start and the sort of big plot points I was going to throw in there. The only thing I hadn't decided on was who Riley's ultimate romantic interest would be, but I've made that decision now. Anyways, we're closing in on the end, so if you want a little shoutout in the last chapter, better review soon!**


	11. Cry

**A/N See! I told you I would finish this story! It's coming along quickly now. PLEASE don't forget to review, guys! It's another long one – or at least longer than my usual chapters. Remember my little contest :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Flies or its characters.**

_**Cry: **__**To shed tears as an expression of distress or pain.**_

The next morning, I woke up in my own shelter, my last four friends scattered about. My eyes were heavy and tired, and they felt red and puffy from all the tears shed just hours before. The sun was shining high, meaning it was about mid afternoon. The first afternoon that Simon would never see.

The events of last night were all just a blur now. Going to Jack's fire. Dancing with the savages. Murdering poor, innocent, young Simon. The shock on everyone's faces when we were through – well, the shock on every face except for two. I remembered Ralph grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the murder site when all of the littluns burst into tears. He and Piggy walked on either side of me back to our camp as I bawled my eyes out. I remember seeing Ralph cry quite a bit, too. Piggy seemed to regret the actions of the night, but I didn't see a tear shed.

We were murderers. Everyone on this island. Except maybe the twins – I wasn't sure if they had left the fire early which is what they claimed. However, we claimed the same thing.

We took the life of a little boy who, albeit being slightly wacky was a sweet and kind boy, who wanted nothing more than to be our friend and help us get back home. He was one of the only supporters Ralph had left, forever loyal that lad was.

I began crying again, hoping that Simon was getting nothing but the best treatment wherever he was now.

Ralph, who had been laying down, lifted himself up to sit beside me. Silently, he laid his head on my shoulder. He was crying, too. I took his hand in mine, hoping to give him whatever comfort I could.

Piggy walked up to us, away from the fire he had been tending. Bright eyed, and not a single sign of sadness, he sat on the ground across from Ralph and I.

"Simon," Ralph whispered into my shoulder.

"What'd you say?" Piggy questioned.

"Simon," Ralph repeated, louder this time. His voice was hoarse and thick with emotion.

Piggy stayed silent. Ralph moaned and lifted his head.

"Oh, what are we going to do?" He asked pathetically.

"You could call an assembly," Piggy suggested.

Ralph laughed the laugh of a broken boy, "What? For the two of you and the twins?"

"You're still Chief."

Ralph continued laughing.

"You are," I chimed in, "over us."

Ralph grabbed the conch and began skipping in fake glee, exclaiming, "I've got the conch! I've got the conch!"

"Ralph!" Piggy stood, upset now, "Stop that! There ain't no need!"

Ralph stopped in mid skip, letting the conch fall onto the sand.

"That was Simon."

"You already said that." I rolled my eyes at Piggy. Ralph was going through post-traumatic stress disorder, but the fat boy just didn't realize.

"That was murder."

It was the first time any of us had said it aloud. A new wave of tears began for me as Ralph and Piggy fought about whose fault it really was. Ralph seemed ready to take the blame for all of it, but Piggy kept shifting the blame onto someone else – Jack and his tribe, the dance, Simon for being batty enough to crawl out of the woods during a tribal feast. The fire went out due to the lack of attention. The twins were at the bathing pool, so I felt I needed to do something instead of sit around and mope.

"Ralph," I croaked, interrupting the argument.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to get some more firewood," I nodded at the makeshift pit.

"Oh," he responded, "I hadn't even noticed. Yes, go do that."

I rolled myself off of the structure and trudged into the woods. I wandered for a bit, trying to clear my head. I eventually found myself in Simon's thicket. The only difference was that now a decaying pig head on a stake stood in the middle of the clearing, thousands of little flies buzzing around it. I don't know how long I was there for before I heard the voice that sent shivers down my spine – and not in a good way.

"Well hey there," came the intimidating voice of my older brother as he crouched down to level with me.

I considered running, but the spear in his hand painted with fresh blood warned me otherwise.

"Hey," I slowly began to stand, but he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back down.

"I was just about to leave," I told him. His evil grin told me I wouldn't be doing anything of the sort.

"Well isn't that nice. You were just about to leave." I heard some sniggers from either side of me. I turned to them to see two more savages.

"Now, I _would_ let you go," his eyes tore into mine, "but see, I can't disobey orders. And, well, you being here just makes the job that much easier."

"Wha-" I tried to protest as the other two savages grabbed either wrist and began them together with creepers. I tried to scream out, but before I could, Roger had stuffed the remnants of what I assumed what a choir robe in my mouth and tied it in tightly with a creeper of his own. The fabric was dirty and old and the fumes made me start to cry. I struggled against my bindings, but it was no use.

"Now walk," he commanded me. I took my right foot and kicked him right in between the legs. The moment of confusion was enough for me to break loose of the other savages who held me back. I ran as fast as I could, but fell when a spear was whacked across my head. I hit the ground hard due to the fact I had no arms to break my fall. My eyesight was blurry from the hard hit to the head. Standing over me was one of the painted savages I couldn't recognize.

"Robert," Roger approached us, "nice going. I'll be sure to put in a good word to the Chief."

The savage, who was apparently Robert, looked as elated as could be. Roger himself now bent down again and loomed over me darkly.

"You thought you had us there, didn't you?" He asked rhetorically, "What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" He chuckled darkly.

He was taunting me. The other two boys began tying my feet together as Roger had his one sided conversation.

Roger stopped his chuckling and looked me straight in the eye. The beatings, I could take. The emotional abuse, too. But right now, my brother crouching over me with war paint coating his face, blood on his hands and a murder under his belt, I feared for my life. It had become a game of survival and I was destined to die. Fear in my eyes, he lifted his fist and punched me straight in the jaw. Then one in the stomach. One in the eye. One here, one there, one until I couldn't feel them anymore. He picked me up, slung me over his shoulder, and began walking towards the camp.

* * *

"I hope the Chief doesn't mind some damaged goods," Robert snickered. I weakly raised my head to send a glare his way, but I was sure it came out more like a look of despair. He looked away from my eyes.

When we got to Castle Rock, Roger walked into a cave near the top. He dropped me ungracefully to the hard ground right onto the feet of Jack Merridew.

"And the glasses?" Jack asked before even acknowledging me. Roger shook his head slightly.

"We found her in the clearing where the offering for the beast was. We'll have to make another trip for the glasses." Jack pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Very well. Why don't you go, and choose two more boys as well. Get two Hunters up here to guard the cavern entrance."

Roger nodded his head slightly, saying a quick, "Chief," and leaving the damp cave.

Jack bent down and began to untie my bindings.

"Oh Riley," he sighed, "did we have some problems getting you here? You know, this all could have been avoided if you had come with me in the first place. Or even stayed last night. I mean, I saw how much you were enjoying yourself. So why did you not take me up on my offer?"

I remembered that before the Simon incident that Jack had told me if I stayed he would protect me from my brother. I could feel the bruises forming on my body already and, just for a second, wished I had done as he asked.

Jack pulled the balled up fabric out of my mouth, and I erupted in coughs. My other bindings had been undone, too, so I sat up, immediately feeling better.

"I didn't join you," I stopped to cough a bit more, "because it wasn't right."

He stared intently at me, as I looked away.

"Well, regardless, you're going to be staying here a little while, so you better get used to it."

He angrily stood up after his harsh words and walked out of the cave. Two savages were guarding the outside. I didn't see a way out of this one. So, I did what I do best and cried.

* * *

Night had fallen. I saw a fire down on the beach but I couldn't hear any cheering or see any boys, so they must not have caught a pig. I looked quietly at my two guards, noticing that one had fallen asleep his spear at his side. The other one looked rather distracted, I assumed he was looking out for the other boys.

I only had one chance.

I grabbed the spear of the sleeping boy and before the other one noticed, hit him over the head with it. I hoped he was okay as he fell to the ground. I made sure he was breathing before I took off into the forest.

As I ran I repeated "survival" over and over to myself in my head. I wouldn't let myself die here. I would get back to my camp where Ralph and Piggy and the twins would be waiting and by the time the tribe noticed and came to fetch me, we will have moved camps and created weapons and-

I fell to the ground, hard as I bounced off of a solid standing boy. A hand twisted into my hair as I was dragged to my feet. Roger's murderous eyes glared into mine.

"This yours, Chief?" He spun me towards Jack and shoved me away, into Jack's arms. Jack cast me one disappointed look downwards, before looking regretful. He pushed me back towards Roger.

"She may be mine, but she's your plaything for now. Teach her a lesson."

My heart started beating wildly as fear coursed through my body. Roger started dragging me back to the cave while the other boys trailed behind us.

Roger threw me into the cave, but not before kicking the sleeping guard in the head. He bent down and grabbed me by my hair forcefully, forcing my eyes to meet his.

"Hear that, sis? You and I get to play! Just like old times," he gave me a forceful slap for good measure before throwing me down to the ground again. I laid still, knowing how this story went.

"Only this time," Roger continued, "I have some new toys."

He gestured to the spears leaning up against the cave wall and the creeper in his hand.

"Now, you and I are going to play," he started forcefully in his naturally intimidating voice, "until you'll promise to submit to Jack. Got it?"

I barely had the energy to move my toes. And yet, I lifted my head, looked right at him, and said as loudly as I could, "fuck you, Roger."

It barely came out as more than a whisper, but as the makeshift whip came down on my stomach, I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

**A/N It's getting serious now, guys! So please review, review, review!**


	12. Chief

**A/N: Unbelievable. You guys are seriously unbelievable. Not only does **_**Definitions**_** have 99 reviews, it is also the 23****rd ****most reviewed and 14th most followed story in our little Lord of the Flies corner of fanfiction! Wow! I cannot get over how astounding you guys are and I wish I had a nicer update for you but it's kind of a filler oops and there isn't very much dialogue sorry I needed to write a transitional chapter. The worst part about this chapter is that it's the longest in the story and it's basically all filler I am so sorry. I **_**hope**_** you guys enjoy it anyways and the next chapter should come sooner! I'm also getting back around to my system of replying to all of my reviews that aren't Guest reviews (because I have no way of replying to them, sorry) because I really appreciate you guys, so don't be surprised if I message you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Flies.**

_**Chief: The head, the leader, the most important individual in a group or body of people.**_

I think I was bleeding everywhere. Roger had gone mad torturing me. Cuts marred my entire body and bruises lined the remaining skin. I had cried, screamed, begged for mercy, but Roger would not stop short of me saying what Jack wanted me to say so badly.

"_Oh Jack, I'll do whatever you want. I'll be yours,"_ blah blah blah, I wouldn't say it. I had come this far. Whip lines ran up and down my back. My face was swollen and bruised from the punching. One of my canine teeth had been knocked out. I'd been kicked in the stomach repeatedly. Cuts from Jack's-but-currently-in-Roger's-possession knife were a horrible masterpiece on my legs and arms. I didn't want to give these savages the satisfaction, but it was almost becoming a life or death situation.

Another kick to the head, "Had enough yet?"

I didn't answer.

"I said, 'have you had enough yet?'" He snarled.

I stayed silent as he picked up the knife again.

"You really need to answer when I speak to you," he grabbed my limp wrist and started sawing at it. My eyes widened. He couldn't be serious.

"Roger," I panicked, trying to pull my hand away. He held on tighter. It was really starting to hurt. He kept slowly sawing into my flesh, trying to maximize the pain.

"Say it."

He was getting deep. Hot tears ran down my face. He was going to cut my hand off! I couldn't do it anymore. I simply broke down.

"Fine!" I yelled, "I'm his, just please stop!"

He withdrew his knife. He ran it across my neck, not deep enough to cut, but enough to hurt.

"I'll take you to Chief. But just you remember who's in charge," he grabbed my hair, dragging me all the way down to the beach as I stumbled behind him. He dropped me at Jack's feet.

The red headed boy looked down at me, his features immediately becoming concerned.

"Roger," he begun to say, "that's a bit too far."

"She wouldn't say it, Chief. I followed my orders," he challenged, a sick smile on his face.

My brother looked down on me. Raising one eyebrow, he commanded me to, "say it."

My tears didn't stop as I looked up at Jack. I wanted to say what he wanted to hear, but I couldn't speak at all. Another kick in the side from Roger motivated me, though.

"I'm yours, Chief. All yours! I'll do whatever you want, please!" The pain was overwhelming, but I stood and threw myself at him, heavily relying on his strong build to hold me up as I had no strength of my own left.

"Roger, the knife please," as Roger handed Jack the bloody knife, I cowered away.

"It's okay," he whispered to me, almost like he cared. But he didn't. If he cared about me, he would've never sent Roger into that cave with me. He would've never called for my kidnapping. He would've just let me make my own decisions. But for the sake of survival, I clung onto him like I was teetering off the edge of a cliff and he was the only thing keeping me from falling.

"Hand me that coconut filled with water, then you're dismissed," he nodded at Roger who did what he was told, then proceeded to help me back up the cliff to the cave. He sat me down against one of the cave walls while he grabbed his old choir cloak. He began cutting strips of fabric into a small pile. Sitting beside me, he silently started bandaging my wounds. First dipping the material into the cool and clean water, then onto my broken body. He started with my bad wrist, and I hissed in pain.

"Sorry," he muttered. I didn't say anything. I would do what he told me to – nothing more and nothing less.

"I didn't mean for… for this to happen. For it to go so far," he continued. When I didn't respond and I wouldn't look at him, he sighed and patched me up in silence.

"Lift your shirt," a disgusted look came onto my face. I was still bleeding all over the place and he wanted me to lift my shirt? What a typical guy.

"Is that a request or an order?" I whispered as defiantly as I could.

"I just meant to clean the wounds on your stomach," I looked down to see my shirt torn in about a hundred places and blood still seeping through what was left of the material.

"Oh," I felt embarrassed, but did what he asked. Pain shot up my body when he pressed the makeshift cloth to the incredibly open wound. I shut my eyes tightly and allowed myself to use what was left of my tears.

When Jack was done, he sat across from me silently. I knew he was trying to get me to look at him, but I wouldn't meet his gaze. He seemed genuinely remorseful about the entire Roger incident, but the look of guilt on his face made it that much worse. I didn't _want_ to forgive him. He could order me around as much as he wanted to but he couldn't change my feelings and I needed to hold on to that as much as possible.

He finally dropped his head, breaking his one-sided stare.

"I really am sorry," he apologized for what seemed like the millionth time. I still said nothing.

"Do you want some water? Food?" He asked. Questions. Those couldn't be ignored.

"No thank you, Chief," I replied quietly, bringing my knees to my chest and letting my head fall.

"Riley," he reached towards me and tried to grab my hand, but not before it involuntarily flinched backwards. I finally looked towards him, and he surprisingly didn't look angry with me. He simply reached out, slower this time, and gently grasped my hand in his. I allowed it as I didn't have much of a choice.

"Riley," he started again, softly speaking my name, "you need to eat."

That sounded almost like a request, so I replied with the only option I had, "okay, Chief."

He looked perplexed at how quickly I gave in, but didn't question it.

"Bill," he called out to the savage guarding the cave entrance, "bring us some meat and water."

"Yes, Chief," the painted savage replied before running off. I was almost surprised he didn't salute Jack before going. It seemed only fitting.

The tension between us was thick. Jack obviously wanted to speak but I wasn't exactly in a talkative mood, so we both stayed silent. Bill ran into the cave, a chunk of meat in his right hand and a coconut shell of water in the other. When Jack didn't acknowledge his presence, he placed the goods down and ran back to his post.

"Eat," Jack said quietly. And so I did. I did what he told me to.

I ate the meat, drank the water. I stayed put while he was gone hunting, not moving an inch. When nighttime fell, I went to sleep when he told me to, where he told me to. When he wanted to go for walks, I obediently hiked by his side, saying nothing. When he would grab my hand in his, I wouldn't pull away, nor would I smile. Days went by like this. I didn't speak unless I was spoken to, and even then, the responses were short and choppy.

Every night the boys caught a pig, there was a feast. This was the only time Jack would ask me what I wanted to do. He would ask if I would like to go to the feast and I would always – very politely – tell him no. I felt like I wasn't risking much by turning him down. If he really wanted me there he would just tell me to go and I would. He had me under his thumb, but for whatever reason, he didn't force me to go to the feasts. For that I was grateful. It brought back some painful memories.

Tonight was no different. After I gave him my negative answer, he left, leaving behind only two painted boys standing by the cave's entrance. They chatted quietly about the unfairness of being on guard duty during the feast while I laid down and shut my eyes, hoping to rest a little bit while I waited for the Chief to return.

Not much had happened since the entire Roger incident. Jack still seemed like he felt bad about what had happened, but he didn't bring it up other than the occasional sorry. A couple of my makeshift bandages had fallen off over the days of walking the beach and jungle, showing that my injuries were healing up nicely. I was getting some of my strength back.

Jack also treated me differently than I expected him to. He didn't force me to do much. In fact, he didn't really force me to do anything. Sure, he would tell me to eat my meat but he wasn't aggressive about it. I expected him to subject me to a lot worse than eating food, to put it lightly. I had also noticed that he was making a conscious effort to keep Roger and I apart. Not only was Roger never on guard duty, but one night when he came to the cave wanting to "pay his sister a visit", Jack got rid of him fairly quickly. He was trying to make up for his mistakes, I could see that much.

Usually I waited for Jack to return from the feast before going to sleep, but I couldn't keep myself awake. Before falling asleep the mental image of an attractive blond boy flashed in my mind as I wondered what he was doing on the other side of the island. I hoped Jack wouldn't be mad.

When I opened my eyes, I was staring right at the painted face of the Chief. He wasn't touching me at all, but he was close enough for me to feel his breath on my face. I quietly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I moved towards the wall of the cave and waited for Jack to wake up. I didn't think they were hunting today which meant we were probably going for a walk or maybe he would let me go to the bathing pool.

When he awoke, I had been picking at a scab on my arm, causing it to start bleeding. He looked at me confused and sleepy as he moved towards me, wordlessly removed one of the old bandages and covered the reopened wound.

"We should," he started, his voice thick with drowsiness. He cleared his throat and started again, "we should take off some of your bandages today, see how they cuts are looking."

"Okay, Chief," I said and started removing some of the fabric along my legs. I felt like the only things I had said in the last little while were 'okay, Chief', 'yes, Chief', 'yes please, Chief' and the occasional 'no, Chief'. Always 'Chief'. It was the title he had craved so bad, I figured he would at least want to be addressed as such.

He began untying some knots around my leg, running his fingers over the now thin red lines. Most would scar, I knew that much. Jack stared remorsefully at the cuts. I stayed silent.

He then moved on to untying the bandages that ran up my left arm, leaving me slightly useless with my still pretty severely damaged right wrist. That wound was still very open and wrapped up extremely tightly. I knew that bandage wouldn't be coming off for a while. Just the thought of it made my wrist start throbbing.

"These are looking good, Riley," Jack told me optimistically, moving to my right arm, "Are they feeling any better?"

"Yes, Chief," I said as he undid the last of the bandages save for my wrist and the wound I had reopened earlier.

"They look pretty clean, too, which is good, right?"

"Yes, Chief," his expression turned to a state of confusion, his eyebrows knitting together. He opened his mouth several times to speak before finally finding the words he was looking for.

"You don't… you don't always have to call me 'Chief', you know."

Now it was my turn to be confused. All the boys called him Chief. He wasn't Jack anymore. He seemed to read my mind.

"The tribe has to call me Chief – well at least the boys do – I mean, you're part of the tribe now. But you don't. Don't have to call me Chief that is," he looked flustered, for whatever reason. I bet his face was red underneath the war paint covering his features.

"You can also talk, you know," he told me, looking to my eyes now. I turned away from his face. I stayed silent.

"Riley," I shook my head slightly, looking down. I really didn't have much to say to him. I couldn't very well say 'let me go'. Best case scenario he would say no and worst case scenario he would send Roger in to teach me my place.

"Back there…" he started to say, referring to Ralph's side of the island, "we used to get on well. Like that time we went hunting together." I flinched at the memory. While we had been hunting together, we had simultaneously ruined our only chance of rescue thus far. I guess he caught my reaction as he quickly changed the topic.

"Even the times we didn't get on well, like when you were building those huts and we fought about what was more important – shelter or meat – even those times were fun," I thought back to the earlier days on the island, the simpler days. Of course he would've enjoyed arguing with me –he lives for conflict.

"What I'm trying to say is, talk to me. The way you used to. I miss it," I was shocked he had revealed so much as far as his feelings go. The rough, powerful Chief telling the fragile, broken girl he missed it when she heckled him a little bit. I swore I could see his red cheeks even through the paint this time.

"If I speak my mind… you're just going to send my bro-" I stopped. I had already said too much.

"I promise I won't!" He exclaimed. He seemed suddenly fed up with me being his lap dog he controlled. Oh well. That's what he wanted that's what he would get.

"Seriously, Riley! I won't let him hurt you again! Just please stop acting like this! You're not my slave, alright?"

"But I am your captive," with that I turned to face away from him. I wasn't going to risk saying anything more that would get me in trouble. I already felt as though I had pushed my limits. Jack didn't speak again. He sat silently still for a moment, before getting up and leaving the cave. I heard him tell the guards that they were going on an impromptu hunting trip and to watch me while they were gone. Then he turned and left, eventually leaving my sight.

Leaning my head against the cave wall, I thought about what he had said. All he had wanted for me a few days ago – or could it have even been weeks? – was for me to cooperate and cater to his every will. Now all he wanted was for me to speak up and oppose him every once in a while.

I guess what they say is true: you really don't know what you have until it's gone.

**A/N Okay guys! Who is going to be my 100****th**** reviewer? And even if you can't be number 100, you can still be 101 or 102 or even 103… what I'm trying to say is, review! The Chief commands you to speak your mind.**


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